It's all mental, baby

Over the course of about 18 hours, I've watched the 2009, 2010, and 2011 NYC marathons, courtesy of Universal Sports. Yes, it's been an exciting weekend. But it's exactly what I needed to focus myself for what's coming up in 9 short weeks when I will run the Disney Marathon (with a big PR in mind...I'll reveal that closer to race day). Before confining myself to my couch to watch world class athletes, I completed my longest run since Boston of 15 miles on a perfect Fall day. During this run, I reflected on my own sports history more than ever. Through a few examples, including somewhat of a personal anecdote, I'd like to explain why I believe running the marathon is much more of a mental than physical undertaking. Some of you who know me now are familiar with my racing method of negative splitting (running the 2nd half of the race faster than the first) which is basically every marathoner's goal aside from a PR because it helps to ensure they will not hit a wall (or at least run through it) and finish strong, confident, and with a smile. Although running is in my blood (my dad and aunt were both very good long distance runners) and I do train hard, when it comes to race day for a distance of 26.2 miles, my biggest ally is my mental strength. Several years ago, my mind was my worst enemy, and we'll get to that. But first, a side note for people who have never done a marathon and know for an absolute fact, like we all knew Santa was real when we were 4 years old, that they could never do one...

I've had many friends and acquaintances tell me "there's no way I could ever do a marathon", and my honest opinion is that's bullshit. Clearly you haven't seen The Biggest Loser, where people who weighed 400 lbs and had diabetes 4 months ago finish a marathon. Ok, they may not be setting any records, but if these people can "do a marathon", then my 28 year old friends who run 3 miles on the treadmill a couple of times a week and have an appropriate BMI number can CERTAINLY do it! What it comes down to is #1 you have to WANT to do it and #2 you have to BELIEVE you CAN do it. Unless you are seriously physically handicapped, those are the only 2 obstacles that stand in your way. This is an example of how a good attitude and confidence are two of the most important ingredients for beginning runners trying to finish 26.2 miles.

Now, to further illustrate my point, I'm going to take a little trip down memory lane, as I did on my long run a few days ago. For about 5 or 6 years, my biggest passion in life was swimming. It all started at a high school state meet, when I was invited by our coach as an alternate for the relay when I was in 7th grade. I think she took like 6 alternates that year, which was clearly unnecessary since there are 4 legs on a relay, but it was at that meet that I fell in love with the sport. Of course I didn't realize the kind of work that I would have to put in to be moderately decent. I quit my other love soccer, and began swimming year round the next year. Many of the other kids on the club team had been swimming since they were like 6, so clearly I was a few steps behind, and I never really caught up. It wasn't for lack of commitment and training though. I put in the 9x a week workouts, swam for 3.5 hours on Christmas Eve and New Years Eve (what we called garbage yardage), and made my coaches believe during test sets (supposed to predict your times in big meets) that I was about to break through. Although I gradually got better, I never broke though. Swimmers I would smoke or at least keep up with in practice, finished literally lengths of the pool ahead of me at meets. Looking back on it now, I had MAJOR mental issues w/ swimming...
1) I didn't understand how to pace for my best race. I either never got in a rhythm or went out way too fast and died.
2) If I was passed by even one swimmer towards the end of the race, I basically gave up.
3) I had a stash of past heat sheets (showing competitors times vs mine) under my bed that I studied sometimes instead of US History...that was incredibly psychotic, I know.
4) Most importantly, I had probably the lowest self esteem of any girl on the planet. I didn't understand my body or what it could do, and I had absolutely no faith in it.

Running for me is completely different. I certainly don't train as much as many other marathoners with similar times as me or as hard as I did when I swam, but mentally I am a fierce athlete and competitor. Part of it may be that I've matured and actually like myself now, a bit can probably be attributed to the fact that I don't put as much pressure on myself (there are no college scholarships on the line for a 27 year old, and I generally set 3 goals per race for myself, the first of which is get to the finish line), and I have a very good relationship with my body. What I mean by that is I know when I need extra rest, I have a pretty good understanding of when I need to fuel/ refuel before and during training and races, and I basically only train and race by feel. There's still that psychotic girl inside of me who becomes obsessed when she puts a Garmin on her wrist. But when I am in a race, I tap into this mental zone I never knew existed. The first half of the race is all about finding my pace and settling in for a bit. I will probably exchange a high five or two or ten with spectators, average 3 fist pumps/mile, and smile for the half marathon photographer. You know, let myself get a little loose and have fun before the action begins. (Please note that when I swam, I was all business all the time. There was no fun involved, unless I had a good race, in which a moderate celebration and trip to Wendy's were in order.) But right around miles 15 to 18 (depending on how I'm feeling), the eye of the tiger is activated, as I hone in on my goals for the race.

Sure I've had some critical fails in races (i.e. Boston 2010 when I went out too fast and thought not drinking or eaten anything after mile 10 was a good idea since I had a tummy ache), but for the most part, I run smart and don't allow myself to experience "the wall" for very long. Trust me, it's there, but I don't let my mind acknowledge it for more than a song on my iPod. It's like I dissociate myself from the fact that I've already run about 22 miles and focus on the last 4, reminding myself of my goals. I think this kind of thing can only happen if you run a smart race. For any of you who watched the NYC marathon today, Mary Keitany (spelling?) did NOT run a smart race. Heroic? Yes, she was trying to do something absolutely phenomenal, but running alone for 25 miles with 10 other women who are just as talented and have trained just as hard as you, not smart. (Keep in mind, this woman still ran a 2:24 marathon or something crazy, so clearly she is doing something right. But she lost. End of story.) The 2 women who beat her pushed each other the whole way, got gradually faster, and had a kick at the end to pass Mary who had led almost the entire race. If Mary would've stayed back with them and run more conservatively, she may have come out victorious. I was sad for her, but I'm sure she was more sad. Even for the elites, the mental game is such an essential component to a successful marathon. My personal evidence in running: I was much better trained for Boston 2010, but ran a better time and better race in 2011 with my longest long run of 15 miles. The training wasn't where it should've been for me to have a good race, but I felt good that day, understood the course, and knew when to kick things into gear for a second half over 8 minutes faster than the first (which is not typical for Boston).

Whenever I look back at my swimming career, as I did on my most recent long run, I'm thankful it's part of the past. It was filled with a lot of disappointment and unfulfilled goals, but as I continue to experience what I hope will be a long marathon career, I remember that unassured, unconfident, and understandably unhappy girl, as I now run through every finish line with a smile. She's a reminder of how far I've come as an athlete and a person and is one of the reasons I push myself so hard come mile 15. I think she is proud of her newfound mental ally and to see her years of training finally paying off.

Booooo for Halloween

There was a time in my life when I looked forward to and planned for Halloween. Actually, there were probably 23 years of that...I'm subtracting the first few years of my life because I'm sure I had no clue what Halloween was, and the last 2 years of my life, when I've grown to hate it. Last year was the beginning of the end...I was dating a real great guy at the time (insert sarcasm) who was 26 years old and acted as though he was 18. I believe we were in a fight about how I wanted to spend it with my new friends, and he wanted no part of that. I ended up boycotting the holiday and staying in. Bad taste in my mouth. Jump to this year...I would like to say that my sense of self and sense of style has changed a bit, as I have come to the realization that less is not always more on my SLIGHTLY less than perfect body and that going out on Halloween is in short, a sh!tshow. When my friend showed me a picture of a costume a group of us were to dress up in, I just could not agree to it. It was low cut (which is actually to my advantage) and very tight (so not to my advantage). I declined the group costume invitation but obviously agreed to go out with them last night for a birthday/ Halloween celebration. I ended up dressing up in all black and said I was mourning the demise of the Florida Gator football team. I don't think anyone got it...surprising, I know. Anyways, I made it to midnight and left the bar of slutty wish-I-had-their-body cats, supermen who only wished they had six packs, and way too many LMFAO group members to walk home alone. Don't worry...I closely followed a group of female crayons back to my apartment so that no one would figure out I was actually alone. Oh the humiliation...

I figured that would be the fate of my Halloween weekend, but at least I tried. What I looked forward to most happened yesterday morning at 8:30 AM, long before the Party Rockers awoke. A few months ago, I signed up for the Monster Dash Half Marathon. It would be my first race since the Boston Marathon and a measuring stick for my training leading up to January's Disney Marathon. Many people dressed up for this as well. I was in the port-potty line behind some Q-tips, and ran next to a leopard and Superwoman for a large majority of the race. Typically, I didn't adorn a costume, but I did sport an orange shirt and my signature knee high socks (w/ the feet cut out) as arm warmers. Usually they look ridic, but yesterday no one noticed them.

My thoughts going into this race: I aimed to break 1:40 without pushing it too hard. I did that 2 years ago leading up to Boston and really aggravated an injury. So I lined up with the 1:40 pace group (7:38 min/ mile). As a side note, I'm a huge advocate of pace groups...they keep me conservative in the early part of the race when I usually get anxious about all the slower people I have to weave in and out of because they don't understand how races work. Usually I end up leaving the pace group at some point because I end up feeling pretty good and convince myself I can go faster to the finish. In short, pace groups help me achieve my signature negative split racing style. It was about 35 degrees at the start, and when the gun went off, I felt like we were sprinting. I didn't really do much of a warm up, and I had a lot of trouble getting into the groove. Couple that with our pace leader who had WAY too much enthusiasm and constantly veered off to high five spectators. I'm all for having fun during races, but I guess I was just NOT in the mood today. I'm assuming he kept our pace pretty even, although there were some points I felt like we were sprinting and others barely shuffling along. Around mile 8, I started feeling a pretty sharp pain in the top of my foot. I told myself that today I probably shouldn't attempt to pick the pace up at the end for fear of a legit injury. I don't know if I tuned out the pain or if it really went away, but at a water stop just before mile 10, I lost the pace group and didn't turn back. I saw the finish line and clock for the 10 mile finishers and saw 1:14 on the clock. At that point, I figured I was pretty close to a PR (1:37:15 is my best time and the time I got injured at 2 years ago), so I might as well keep trucking to the finish. I passed a referee, a girl dressed in some sort of 80s gear, lots of tutus, and a fully suited up Gumby (thank goodness because I would've beat myself up over that one) to finish with a time of 1:37:57 and 11th in my age group. My last 5k was probably slightly better than 23 mins. Of course I would've liked a PR, but I'm certainly pleased with my performance, considering I felt like crap for 10 miles. I also think I'm at a pretty good place 10 weeks out from Disney...

So until I have kids, which my mom tells me will reignite my love for Halloween, I think I've found a new tradition that will get me looking forward to it every year. Who knows, maybe next year I'll wear some cat ears.

About this blogging thing...

It's been a few years since one of my best friends, Kim, first attempted to talk me into creating a blog. My response has always been, number 1 I don't have time, and number 2 I am NOT that interesting. However, recently I've found that my life is unique and intriguing to many of my friends and acquaintances. You see, I have two VERY distinct sets of people in my life. On one side, you have my best friends from college and my home town of St. Petersburg, FL. All of these friends are married (some with children), engaged, or pretty much going down that same path. Of course I am very happy for them, and yes, there are some points in time when I envy them. (Maybe I'll devote I blog to that one day...) Even though these are the people I cherish most in life and know me better than anyone, sometimes I have trouble getting them to understand what my life is like as one of their only "still single" friends. Some say "you are just going to find someone and fall in love so fast", others live vicariously through my sporadic dating life, and I can count on all of them to give me the "you're way too good for him" or "he was such a jerk" speeches when one of my epic "relationships" ends. One of the biggest issues here is that I've always put my career first and haven't really let anyone stand in my way or, probably more often than not, support me along the way. You don't just move from an apartment on the water in Florida to Minneapolis, MN for fun...and that's exactly what I did last year. Then you have the hectic aspect of this career. I travel just about every other week to Wisconsin, Iowa, and of course back to Florida to see my lovely mom and close friends.

Then there are my new friends in Minneapolis. These are the people who are in the same stage of life as me! They are mid-20s to mid-30s, single, professional (except on the weekends and even some week nights). One would think this must be the group I fit into perfectly, and that can certainly be true. There have been make out sessions in parking lots after bar close, people getting kicked out of fine establishments like the VFW, taking body shots at someone's apartment, and obviously playing Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" at the bar in May. In sum, I have an absolute BLAST with each and every one of them! The problem is, I find that I can't keep up with these friends, and sometimes I really don't want to! You see, I spend my weekdays socializing and talking with clients, and by the end of the day all I want to do is put on my pjs, cook a frozen pizza, and watch The Real Housewives on my couch...alone. On weekends I would rather wake up at 7 AM to go for a long training run or take a spin class than nurse a hangover in bed with the blinds closed. There was a certain point in my life when I got excited to go to the most crowded bar in town filled with douchebags to buy me shots, but sadly, that time has ended. Now, my passion is for running...2 things about me that will never change: my competitive nature and my need to feel a sense of accomplishment. Long distance running allows me to channel both, and I am now at the point (quite recently I might add) where I won't give it up for a couple of extra drinks at the bar...

I used to think I was stuck in the middle of these 2 lifestyles, but more often than not, I'm not even close to being on the same wavelength right now. So maybe my one of my objections is not really true...the trials of balancing a crazy work life, trying to defend my single-status, willingly turning down shots at the bar, and dedicating a lot of my free time to running...all of those ingredients together make for a life that none of my friends have the distinct pleasure of experiencing, and therefore, might be somewhat interesting. Oh, and I got a new MacBook Air which somehow frees up all my time I never had to create a blog. With that being said, below are a few purposes for my blog:

1) Chronicle the interesting tales of my professional life, travel experiences, and recently toned down nights on the town
2) Track my progress as a runner with training updates and race recaps
3) Hopefully provide some humor to others out there as a twenty-something (single) runner...